April – The month that giveth many long weekends.

Some of you may have to work on those many public holidays, others may choose to work for that double time (ka’ching!). Whichever it is, we hope you get a moment to relax and recharge too.

We have a question for you to ponder on your work-free days: When are you too old to receive Easter eggs?

The correct answer is: Never. You are never too old to receive the gift of chocolate.

When are you old enough to finally do whatever you want to do with your own hair?

In school, you have to follow a dress code; Your hair can’t be coloured unnaturally. It can’t touch your ears. Boys can only grow their hair to 2.5cm long (no-one paid attention to this). Girls can’t wear their hair loose or have hairstyles that are too high.

When we were young, parents would take this further. For many black and coloured households, you were made to relax your hair to make it smooth and manageable. Girls had to iron their follicles into oblivion. Curly hair was called ‘kroes’ and made fun of. Long, pin-straight hair was the ideal standard.

And then you’re in university and you’re trying different things, trying to find your style. But you find that whenever you change your hair, other people associate different stereotypes with it. Instead of just liking the way dreads look, all of a sudden you must be an undercover smoker too. Maybe you dyed your hair black and now your friends think they’ve lost you to the punk lifestyle.

Off to work and your colleagues are complimenting you on your new weave but talking about how cheap it looks behind your back. How unprofessional you look with your ponytail. How uneven your ‘fro is.

At the same time, your friends are all going natural and encouraging you to do so too. They keep saying to, “Try this” and “Try that” to make your locks look better.

Everywhere on social media, you’ll find people saying that you should really only be using products with natural ingredients (how many of us had to find out the hard way that coconut oil is not the way?) or that you need to have a 5-step washday routine (can you even afford enough products for a 5-step washday routine?).

Listen babygirl;

Do whatever you want to do with YOUR OWN hair.

You don’t have to lay your edges flat. You don’t have to use the curly-girl method (Although it does work). You don’t need to grow your hair out just because everyone else is doing it.

You can if you want to.

But you don’t have to.

Of course, some societal norms exist because they’re reasonable, such as looking professional in a professional environment like the workplace or even school, but many are perpetuated on outdated ideal standards made so we could fit in or be more palatable to our fellow countryfolk.

We don’t have to carry on those same practices. Instead we could encourage those around us to be true to who they are.

Be the change you want to see, even if it’s just for yourself.

So, when are you old enough to decide what to do with your own hair?

Perhaps the answer is that we’re never too young to embrace our own beauty and live to our own standards.

Remember to do what’s good for you and your hair. 

Let us know which societal norms you’ve had to follow in your own life. And tune into our livestreams on our social medias where we discuss all of the above and more.

• The H Word

We would like to thank the following people for contributing to this blog.

• Gauri Conrad
• Nwabisa Msizi
• Rayhaana @dreadfit_momsta
• Shie-Yaam Allie @shieyaamallie